Thursday, May 18, 2006
Communication
5 principles for authentic communication
#1: Communication problems are usually heart problems.
Upbringing and personalities are a factor to the way we communicate to others, but the source of our problems isn't ultimately due to those factors. In fact, its due to our own sinful hearts.
Ask God to help you change your heart. Be humble and repent of your pride, so what God can use your mouth in a more powerful way.
#2: Your ears are your most important communicaiton tools.
God gave people two ears and one mouth because he wants us to listen twice as much as we talk. Listening is an expression of humility and genuine concern for others. Care more about the opinions and ideas of others than your own.
#3: Good communication doesn't happen by accident.
Communication doesn't just happen. You have to be intentional about it. It's something we have to plan for and work at.
#4: The absence of conflict doesn't equal good communication.
Our goal shouldn't be to avoid conflict, but to learn and work through it and resolve it in a way that honours God.
#5: Motive is more important than technique.
It's very important to have a godly motive for our communication. Before we worry about method or technique, we need to make sure the motive of our heart is pleasing to God. He wants our motive to be to sincerely love and serve others - to build up, encourage, and benefit them. Eph 4:29
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10 tips on communication
1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person (Pro 11:9).
2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument (Pro 15:1).
3. Don't exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always (Eph 4:25).
4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.
5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn't the goal - you want to get things resolved (Rom 12:17-21).
6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detext his or her underlying concerns (Jas 1:19).
7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin (Eph 4:26).
8. Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge (Lk 17:3-4).
9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution (Rom 14:19).
10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons!
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Phew! These are adapted from the book, "Boy meets girl" by Joshua Harris. A pretty good book! Hope these help those who are having relationship problems because of communication problems.
Have a great day!
#1: Communication problems are usually heart problems.
Upbringing and personalities are a factor to the way we communicate to others, but the source of our problems isn't ultimately due to those factors. In fact, its due to our own sinful hearts.
Ask God to help you change your heart. Be humble and repent of your pride, so what God can use your mouth in a more powerful way.
#2: Your ears are your most important communicaiton tools.
God gave people two ears and one mouth because he wants us to listen twice as much as we talk. Listening is an expression of humility and genuine concern for others. Care more about the opinions and ideas of others than your own.
#3: Good communication doesn't happen by accident.
Communication doesn't just happen. You have to be intentional about it. It's something we have to plan for and work at.
#4: The absence of conflict doesn't equal good communication.
Our goal shouldn't be to avoid conflict, but to learn and work through it and resolve it in a way that honours God.
#5: Motive is more important than technique.
It's very important to have a godly motive for our communication. Before we worry about method or technique, we need to make sure the motive of our heart is pleasing to God. He wants our motive to be to sincerely love and serve others - to build up, encourage, and benefit them. Eph 4:29
===================================================================
10 tips on communication
1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but without accusing or attacking the other person (Pro 11:9).
2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument (Pro 15:1).
3. Don't exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like never and always (Eph 4:25).
4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.
5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn't the goal - you want to get things resolved (Rom 12:17-21).
6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detext his or her underlying concerns (Jas 1:19).
7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin (Eph 4:26).
8. Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge (Lk 17:3-4).
9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution (Rom 14:19).
10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons!
====================================================================
Phew! These are adapted from the book, "Boy meets girl" by Joshua Harris. A pretty good book! Hope these help those who are having relationship problems because of communication problems.
Have a great day!
# posted by Sarah Loke @ 18:24 
