A penny for my Thoughts

Many thoughts for the last week.

How did it happen? Who contracted it first? Why things happened? Why must people react in that manner? Is it really my fault? Why is it my fault? How am I responsible? Etc. etc etc.

Then an sms came and asked why I was so defensive. All of a sudden, a whole lot of events which happened many years ago started to come back to me. Feelings, thoughts and images just came back to me. That was a test of my character.

I still wanted to protest and defend myself. But what's the point? Even if I have been understood, what difference would it make? It doesn't make me feel better. Neither does it change anything that had happened.

So next would be a sincere apology. But to apologise for what I have not done? Or rather for my ignorance? Finally, it is to apologise for how I tried to defend myself.

This chicken pox isn't just another illness. It shows me another deep-lying illness that I have. The insecurities I have with people.

Time flies and I had been a mother for the past 2 1/2 months.



It is a joy to wake up and see baby smiling at you after feeding her.

But it was also a nightmare when baby is crying, and you don't know what to do.



I made many mistakes in this short 10weeks. Never in my life had I made so many mistakes within such a short period of time. Having the little Angel made me realise how weak and how blocked I am in my thinking. Or rather how proud I had been thinking I know it all.



Pastor was right. Our children reflects us. If we are secure and live in the faith of God, our children will too because they react to our reactions. Likewise, if we are insecure, our children will react to our insecurities.



I started out my motherhood with fear. The fear of spoiling the child. The fear of not being able to teach the child well. The fear of giving too much to the child. But the truth is, if children are God's gifts to us, why should we fear the gift from God?

In life, fear is something which God had not destined for us. "God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and of a sound mind." Because of my fears, I ended up feeling distressed. And not only that, my little Angel suffered with me too.

If you ask me, parenting is really not that difficult. "Love is the greatest motivator." When there is love, there is no fear. I will love my baby more than having fear being a parent.

God loved us and He gave us love.

KM and I went to the Jewel Fest at Taka two days ago with a customer of FEGJ.

We were walking around in the big tentage when we stopped by one of the booths in the Jewel Fest. Both of us were dressed down and carrying our laptops etc. When we were at the booth, we were greeted with some smiles followed by sales staff ignoring us.

I would say we had the freedom to look around without the staff tagging along behind us. But the interesting thing happened.

KM's rich aunt called out to him all of a sudden. It was nice to bump into her and she actually introduced KM to the sales staff of the jewelry booth. I guess she's a regular customer of theirs. After some exchanges of greetings and good words, we said "bye" and parted our ways.

Immediately after we part our ways, one of the salesman (who ignored us earlier), all of a sudden took interest in us and followed us as we looked at their displayed jewellery items on the other side of the booth. When we finally finished looking at their items (which was just another 5mins), we left the booth.

It was an interesting encounter how a person (a sales person) changed their attitude towards us when he realised that we are closely related to one of their wealthy regular customers.

That's all I want to share.

Note: If you are in the sales or service line, please treat all your customers with care. Look at them as if they are the richest people on earth, and serve them as if they are kings and queens. Even if these customers look like beggars on the streets, you'll never know if they are God-sent angels in your life.

Hi Kenneth,

Thanks for following my blog. Don't know if you only read once or really following through. But thanks anyway.

I haven't really got the time and the ideas to update this blog. I'm always busy updating other blogs.

Its quite amazing how people always have the ideas and the creativity to update their blogs, with pictures and stuff. Every entry I do costs me at least half a day.

Can someone tell me how to do it in less than 1 hr???

Thanks a lot!

Cheers...