A penny for my Thoughts

went to the hospital today....

before i go into the main topic, i shall tell u sth hilarious... (but not funny at all)..

i went to the a&e department just now.. n i told the old man there (who is a nurse) that the clinic doc gave my grandma medicine (actually a jab, but i din say it is a jab) but the doc din write in the letter.. so i asked if i should tell him or tell the doc (from the hospital) later...

and he looked at me and gave me a confused look...like i'm talking alien... so he asked me what medicine... after some explanation, i told him the doc injected the medicine... n then he exclaimed," OH!! INJECTION!! NOT MEDICINE!!"

i was like @#$%^&.... hahahaha.... (hey.. stop laughing!!) its not funny at all k.. i was mad!!! guess what!! i was wearing NUS PHARMACY t-shirt.... i wanted to dig a hole to put my head in that moment..... arghhh..... throw my face (diu1 lian3 in chinese)... to think i'm 3rd year pharmacy student!!!! manz... so embarrassing!!! hahaha....

thank God i've got security in Christ....

anyway.. the main topic is that my grandma was admitted to the hospital...

n yesterday my house was a volcano...

cos my grandma started mumbling to herself from day till night, which made my mum very frustrated... not the kind where old people got dementia then mumble that kind... but she always mumble stuff that irritates my mum... u know.. indirectly scolding my mum that kind... yeah.. anyway...that's not the main point..

so when i reached home yesterday, my mum started complaining to me... n eugene n kimberly was disturbing my mum when she was trying to get dinner done... so she was really angry n frustrated n everything....

yeah.. so this morning my grandma started feeling breathless..

i was in sch going for my next lecture at arts when my mum called to ask me if i can go home to fetch grandma to see doctor.. so i was like ok lor.. (i was that very interested to attend that lect also actually)....

when i saw my grandma, she was breathing very hard and she looked really pale... breaking out in cold sweat... it was quite serious actually... but by God's grace, she was still able to walk some distance... (by the way, i spend quite a bit on cab today...)

after which the doc recommended that she be admitted to hospital... so i brought her to the hospital...thinking that it might just be the normal long long wait...

but surprisingly, it was very fast.. i reached the hospital at around 115 and all was done at 2pm... VERY VERY VERY FAST!!!

well.. those are not the main points too.. haha... (wonder when i'll get to the main point.. search me too.. let me type out everything before i know wat i'm trying to say...)

the nurse came out while i was doing some registration stuff... he said that she has to stay in the hospital (like i already know...) n there's some fluid in her lungs (which is due to the heart failure.. pulmonary ischemia. check mednet.com if u want to know more).. so they had to do some blood tests n got to wait like 5hrs... so i was like ok.. i'll go n get some food n go jenny's room (so here i am blogging)...

then came calls from my mum n my sis asking hows the situation like... (mind u, i was already on NUSISB gng to jenny's room) n they kept asking me if anyone was with grandma (knowing that i cant go into the a&e rooms where the doctors n the patients are)...

but one thing i realised is that im really taking this as a not-so-serious-case (but i'm quite sure i'm the only one who knows the seriousness for a 90 year old grandmother to have acute heart failure, breathlessness and fluid in the lungs plus very low blood pressure.)

anytime....

but i dun think so..

faith? trust? belief?

i asked myself.. is it because i have too much faith or because i dont love my grandma enough..

it is actually a very sad thought.. i know that even if she pass away, she'll be with the Lord. but will i even tear? actually i've thought about it many times...

somehow, i'm just not so worried... (do i love enough?) i just wonder...

anyway, lets just pray in faith, knowing that God is in control of everything... :)